The Origins of Our Behaviour
Free Will, Learned Patterns, and the Power of Choice
Our behaviour is shaped by many factors—some ingrained, some learned, and some chosen. Understanding where our patterns come from can help us navigate our personal growth and decision-making with greater awareness. Are we simply the product of our upbringing and experiences? Or do we exercise free will in shaping who we become? The answer, as with most things, lies somewhere in between.
The Psychology of Free Will and Behavioural Conditioning
From a psychological standpoint, much of our behaviour is learned. We grow up absorbing beliefs, expectations, and social norms from those around us—our families, communities, and cultures. Behavioural psychology tells us that reinforcement plays a key role in shaping our actions. When we are rewarded for certain behaviours, we repeat them; when we are punished, we often avoid them. Over time, these responses become ingrained, sometimes so deeply that they feel automatic.
However, human beings are not merely products of conditioning. We have the ability to reflect, question, and make conscious choices. This is where free will enters the equation. While our past experiences and environments influence us, they do not define us. We have the capacity to change, grow, and reframe our perspectives.
Internal vs External Locus of Evaluation
A crucial psychological concept in understanding decision-making is the distinction between an internal and external locus of evaluation:
Internal Locus of Evaluation: When you base your decisions on your own values, beliefs, and reasoning, rather than seeking constant validation from others. A strong internal locus of evaluation is linked to higher self-esteem and a greater sense of personal agency.
External Locus of Evaluation: When your choices are dictated by the fear of judgment, societal expectations, or the need for approval from others. This can lead to anxiety, low self-worth, and difficulty making independent decisions.
Many of us operate somewhere between the two, but shifting towards an internal locus of evaluation is essential for personal growth and well-being. Taking advice from others is not inherently negative, but it should serve as a means to gain perspective, not as a way to offload responsibility for our choices.
The Role of Free Will in Islam
Islam acknowledges both free will and the power of learned behaviour. While we are influenced by our upbringing and surroundings, we are also accountable for our choices. Allah has granted us intellect and the ability to discern right from wrong, which means we have the responsibility to make conscious, ethical decisions.
At the same time, Islam offers a framework of guidance. It is natural to make decisions based on religious teachings, but even within that framework, there is room for personal choice. Importantly, Islam teaches that while choices have consequences, there is always hope. Mistakes are not permanent stains on the soul; they are opportunities for growth, learning, and seeking forgiveness.
Balancing Personal Choice and Faith
Many people struggle with making choices because they fear judgment—whether from family, society, or religious communities. However, true faith is not about blind conformity but about seeking knowledge and making informed, sincere decisions. Islam encourages reflection and accountability, reminding us that while others’ opinions may carry weight, our ultimate accountability is to Allah.
When we make choices purely out of fear of societal judgment rather than genuine conviction, we risk living inauthentically and feeling disconnected from our faith and ourselves. But when we build our decisions on a foundation of sincere belief and understanding, we develop a stronger connection with both our Creator and our own sense of purpose.
The Power of Reflection and Growth
Understanding the roots of our behaviour—whether learned, chosen, or conditioned—can empower us to make more conscious decisions. Recognising our ability to shape our own lives allows us to move beyond limiting beliefs and step into a space of self-awareness and growth.
Islam reminds us that no matter how much we have been shaped by our past, we always have the ability to turn back, reflect, and make better choices. Free will is not just a responsibility; it is a gift—an opportunity to live with sincerity, intention, and hope.
So as you navigate your own journey, remember: your choices are yours to make. Seek guidance, but do not let others dictate your path. Trust in yourself, in your ability to grow, and in the mercy of Allah, who always offers a way forward.
uild communication, reach out today. Healing begins with a single conversation.
Reflection Questions to Consider
Think about a major decision you have made recently—was it influenced more by your internal beliefs or by external pressures?
When seeking advice, do you look for perspective, or do you rely on others to make decisions for you?
Have you ever changed a behaviour or belief after realising it no longer aligned with your values? What prompted that change?
If you are on a journey of self-reflection and personal growth, exploring these questions can help you gain deeper insight into your behavioural patterns and decision-making process.
For more insights and support on personal growth, self-awareness, and integrative therapy, visit Salamah.org.uk.